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It’s a meat-and-potatoes issue, and skip the meat

Jennifer has Siri on her cellphone. I have neither. I asked her, “What’s Siri?” When she told me, I just looked at her. I said, “Ask Siri how many games Warren Spahn won.” A woman’s … more

Rolling Stones 2019 — old boys’ club is nothing like old times

Gimme shelter and gimme money. Tickets to see the Rolling Stones next year at whatever the stadium here is called go for (went for) $49 to $850 (without fees), and some special seats go for (went … more

‘Knock-knock.’ ‘Who’s there?’ ‘A dissection of types of humor.’

Say “Knock-knock.” “Who’s there?” I’ll get to that. If someone were to ask you if you have a sense of humor, would you be able to give an objective answer? Everyone thinks they have a … more

As Bruegel would say, DIA is boorish and depressing

This lively essay needs an image to go along with it. Please look up Pieter Bruegel the Elder’s painting “The Fall of the Rebel Angels,” and have it handy when you read the following paragraph … more

What a deal, what a steal, gotta get an automobile

I rarely buy, lease, rent or steal anything because of a television commercial. There are products I avoid, however, because the commercials that go along with them irritate the Cap’n Crunch out of … more

Santa, help create an era of kindness

Naughty. Nice. Naughty. Nice. Whoa, Santa! This is the era of kindness and niceness — “kindniceness.” Please stop this categorizing! Anyway, how do you actually know who’s naughty or nice? … more

Sadly, there’s no such thing as an influencer vaccine

Jennifer said, “I watched a great documentary about the Fyre Festival.” I am systematically out of touch, with the hope and intention of keeping it that way. I told her I didn’t know what she … more

Battling at backgammon — that’s just how we roll

It is one man against one woman, without handicap or charity or concession. There is strategy and there is luck. There is grit and there is determination. Words are said in the heat of competition … more

Keeping the planet clean in February

Oh, them Romans! It’s the Month of Purification and fumigation, as we all—now—know. We must think about where to start! The heavy equipment will move in soon. First, Feb. 1, Groundhog’ Eve … more

A handwritten letter can speak volumes

Once a week, I go fishing. I throw a few lines out, and I never know what I am going to catch. I received an extraordinary, handwritten, four-page letter (with enclosures) from a reader named Janet … more

Art’s reward is the gift of other people

Matt and I won a prize. You still have a chance to see our prize winner at the Lone Tree Arts Center. We collaborated on an art project for a juried exhibition that will be up until Nov. 26. Because … more

‘Like’ is, like, not really something to, like, like

I am, like, tired of it. More than tired. It makes me puke. Vomit. Regurgitate. Retch. Heave. It is the extra-grammatical word “like” I am talking about. It adds nothing, it means nothing, but it … more

Making the right decisions to maximize opportunities

“Indecision is the thief of opportunity.” — Jim Rohn This is one of my very favorite quotes by Jim Rohn who was an entrepreneur, author and motivational speaker. I love this quote because it … more

Haiku contest seeks / your work to be sent in by / February date

Get out your haiku. Traditional haiku are three-line poems. The first and third lines have five syllables each. The middle line has seven syllables. Haiku rarely rhyme. There are modern haiku with … more

Instead of trying to break a record, just try braking

The National Transportation Safety Board (NTSB) just released the results of an extensive study. It may be surprising to you, but it wasn’t surprising to me. “Our year-long study concluded that … more

Autumn has list full of ways to be wistful

Autumn. A six-letter word that summons hundreds, and all of them are apples and the color orange. My friend Thoreau said, “I would rather sit on a pumpkin, and have it all to myself than be crowded … more

There’s more to Elvis than the same old song and dance

Elvis Presley died on August 16, 1977, a Tuesday, the day I received a call that changed my life. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be reading this. I was living in Mesa, Arizona, and I was looking for a … more

Looking forward by looking back

Slap-Happy New Year! There’s a God by the name of Janus, who looks both forward and aft, Looking back, things appear rather heinous, look ahead and it’s almost as daft. Old Swivelneck looked at … more

Stiff the stuff for a holiday from the hyperactive holiday

Go ahead. Go ahead and ignore me, but one of these days you’ll know that I was right. I have the remedy for all of your holiday anxieties. Each and every one. You’ll think I’m kidding. You’ll … more

Picture-perfect pictures aren’t always a good look

If you were born after World War II and before Apple, you might have some out-of-focus family photographs around the house. Unless you had a Nikon or a darkroom, and not many of us did. We had … more
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